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What to Say to Little Kids Instead of "Share"  

What to Say to Little Kids Instead of "Share"  
From Lifehacker - October 23, 2017

When my daughter was a toddler, she would have play dates with her toddler friends, and as the kids would work together to assemble pizzas made of play-dough, the parents would sink into the sofa, pop open cans of rosand engage in meaningful adult conversation.

Just kidding, it was never like that! Instead, these frenetic gatherings would usually consist of a lot of toy-grabbing, crying, and moms and dads jumping in to referee the situation.

Look, she wants to play with the squishy caterpillar now. You need to share!

No, its okay! He had it first. Delia, remember to share!

In the end, the kids would be frustrated as the adults would pack up their things and give a halfhearted, That was fun. We should do it again sometime.

In life, generosity is a good thing. Nancy Eisenberg, who studies childhood sympathy and empathy, found that children become more generous when they have experience of giving to others and learning how good that feelsbut there is a catch. The catch is that it must be voluntary.

Forcing a child to give up their toy/iPad/last peanut butter pretzel in the name of sharing not only leaves a kid resentful and less likely to share, but also denies them the opportunity for developing real-world social maturity. Parenting educator Janet Lansbury writes that such adult intervention often convinces kids that1) they always need a grownup to determine fairness, 2) the material object is more important than engaging with each other and 3) all struggle should be avoided. In the words of the late early childhood educator Magda Gerber, Struggle is a normal part of human relations. The earlier kids understand this, Gerber believed, the better off they will be.

NothingJust Hang Back and Wait

Sportscast the Situation

Wait Until She Is Done

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