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The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected

The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected
From Lifehack - October 11, 2017

Admit it, you feel good when other people think youre nice. Maybe you were complimented by a stranger saying that you had a nice outfit. You felt good about yourself and you were happy for the rest of the day.Admit it, you feel good when other people think youre nice. Maybe you were complimented by a stranger saying that you had a nice outfit. You felt good about yourself and you were happy for the rest of the day.

We all like to feel liked, whether by a stranger or a loved one. It makes you feel valued and that feeling can be addictive. But when the high wears off and you no longer have validation that someone thinks youre a good, sweet person, you may feel insecure and lacking. While wanting others to like you isnt in itself a bad thing, it can be like a disease when you feel that you constantly need to be liked by others.

Humans are wired to want to be liked.

Its human nature to seek approval from others. In ancient times, we needed acceptance to survive. Humans are social animals and we need to bond with others and form a community to survive. If we are not liked by others, we will be left out.

Babies are born to be cute and be liked by adultslarge rounded head, big forehead, large eyes, chubby cheeks, and a rounded body.Babies cant survive without an adult taking care of them. Its vital for adults to find babies lovely to pay attention to them and divert energy towards them.1

From the time you were a child, whether at school or at home, you have been receiving recognition from external parties. For instance, you received grades from teachers, and if you wanted something, you needed approval from your parents. Weve learned to get what we want by catering to other peoples expectations. Maybe you wanted to get a higher grade in art so youd be more attentive in art classes than others to impress your teacher. Your teacher would have a generally good impression on you and would likely to give you a higher grade.

When you grow up, its no different. Perhaps you are desperate to get your work done so you do things that your manager would approve. Maybe your manager had preference on the color of a product to sell. Even though you didnt think pink would be the best color for the product, your manager wouldnt approve colors other than pink for the product. The project deadline was tight and if you spent a lot of time on convincing your manager, you might leave her a bad impression on your work performance. So you went for your managers preference trying to keep up with the project progress.

Facebook and Instagram have only made things worse.People posting their photos and sharing about their life on Instagram just to feels so good to get more likes and attention.

The perception of how others think about us becomes essential to getting what we want. We start to get hyper focused on how others see us, and its easy to imagine having the spotlight on you at all time. People see you and they take an interest in you. This feels good. In turn, you start doing more things that bring you more attention. Its all positive until you do something they dont like and you receive criticism. When this happens, you spiral because youve lost the feeling of acceptance.

But the reality is this is all just perception. Humans, as a species, are selfish. We are all just looking at ourselves; we only perceive others are giving us their focus. Even for those who please others are actually focusing on making themselves feel good.Its like an optical illusion for your ego.

The desire to be liked is an endless chase.

The only person to please is yourself.

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